Monday, December 31, 2012

I Am

I am
The serpent, in your eyes,
The fire, beneath your skin,
The coldness, in your heart
The poison, in your blood

I am
The rocks, in the scales
The justice, beneath the lies
The pain, behind the truth
The storm, within your lungs

I am
The shadow, in the flame
The whisper, in the wind
The craters, inside the Earth
The trickle, beneath the stream

I am
The poison, in your blood
The storm, within your lungs
The trickle, beneath the stream
The reason behind your scream

I am Thanatos


The irony of life
Is not how it ends

Surrounded by life
Yet smitten with the dead

The irony of life
Is not how it begins

Filled with energy
Yet enticed by fatigue

The irony of life
Is not how it’s spent

Surrounded by happiness
Yet enchanted by sorrow

The irony of life
Is simply put

Chasing a desire
with clouds at our head

The Mask

It stands alert, poised and ready
Ugly and foreboading, it stands guard
Protecting the porcelain face beneath it

Why the mask? What is it hiding?

Those who ask, cannot comprehend
They cannot see
The mask to them, is translucent
But they cannot see the agony beneath it
They only see the flaws seeping out

Those who wear it, those who see
Feel it's tremendous weight
Reminding the bearer that it is there
Crushing, hurting, protecting

The scars may remain hidden
but the pain is always there
The procelain face beneath becomes distorted
The two blend into one
Porcelain and stone

Until death do they part

Losing Faith

I'm losing my faith
Little by little
Like a stream, that finally gave up
and started to trickle

It trickled and wept 
until it was no more
Leaving behind a hallow road
Where life had once been

Time continues to pass me by
Bringing with it a brand new day
that will soon darken and fade
until it turns to night
and nothing's left

I'm losing faith
but not in you
I'm losing my faith
but never in you
I feel myself slipping away
slipping away and draining out
my faith turns into a trickle
slowly draining away

Time continues to pass me by
Fading in and out
Soon they'll be nothing left
Nothing left but darkness for me
but they'll be light for you

You'll always be there
You're the balm to my sore
the yin to my yang
the one I crave to be the most
the one I find myself yearning to be
the one I know I can never become

but the one I want the most

Faith is a powerful thing
something I can no longer grasp
Perhaps I'm lost forever
but maybe I'm not
I guess we'll never know
but we can only sit and hope
for a brand new day to come
where darkness turns to light
and with light brings hope

When that day comes the river will flow again
Time will find itself stilled
and in this stillness my faith will return

but it will not come alone

for with my faith comes you
and all my hopes
all my dreams
the ones I've slowly lost
they'll come back to me
they'll make me

they'll make you

I guess this is just my way
of letting you know
that without you
there's nothing left to live for
there's no hope
no dreams
no rivers flowing or days of light
losing you means losing myself
and slowly losing my faith
and with that loss of faith come darkness
darkness and a hollow road
a hollow road that leads to a hollow heart
a hollow heart filled with hollowed dreams and hollowed hopes
And nothing else to live for

I'm losing my faith
Little by little
Like a stream that finally gave up
and started to trickle

Letter to God

Dear God,
I know it's been awhile, since I've written to you.
But what to write, I had not a clue
There was this girl, a friend of mine
who had beautiful eyes, and hair that would shine.
She was pretty, and she was sweet
She made me feel, as if I were complete
Together we'd spend hours, alone at night
Cuddling and kissing, until it got light
Maybe I sinned, maybe it was wrong
but my feelings for her, were too damn strong
I asked her to marry me, and she said yes
What happened next, you can only guess

Time went by and the years slipped away
but no matter what, I'll remember the day
the day she came to me, with tears in her eyes
but they were not tears of sorrow, nor of demise
They were tears of joy, as she sat me down
and told me just what, the doctor had found
Inside her womb now grew a child
And for a moment, I went wild
For this was great news for someone like me
It was hard to believe, I was a father-to-be

I know you don't understand why I did not write
When I had a future, so happy and bright
I promise I was thankful, and grateful for it all
at least until the day I got the call
the one from the hospital, where my son was born
the call that left me, feeling torn

I don't know why you did it, I don't understand
Why all this pain I had to withstand?
You called my son to the heavens above
Where he would be yours to hold and to love
but why God, why did she go too?
Was one death not enough for me to go through?
I just don't know what I'm supposed to do
I've tried hard all my life to try and please you
I went to church, I said my prayers
I had a cross up and downstairs

but I guess that wasn't enough for you
and  all this pain I must go through
and I have no one by my side
but at least I could say that I tried
to keep you happy, but it couldn't be done
You took away my wife, after my son
so here's the letter I promised to write
when my future was, happy and bright
but things have changed and so have I
I spent all my time, trying to get by
but I just can't seem to find it in me
to just let things go, and let them be
I find myself wishing it had been me you had taken
wishing you realized, that you were mistaken
and come down and take me away
so with my wife in heaven I can stay
but that's impossible and now I know why
everything I learned about you was a lie
there is no God, you do not exist
No matter how much others insist

because the God they claim to know
is not one who would sink so low
to take away a man's wife, and his son
so now in my hand, lies a gun
but it's not for you, it's for me
because now my eyes are open, I finally see
that without you standing in my way
with my wife and son I can lay
and together we'll be, in the land of the lost
where we'll be happy, no matter the cost


Tragic Valentine

Violets are blue
Roses are red
I wrote this for you
With a song in my head

Oh, how the sun will shine, 
the day you become mine
And how the clouds will weep
When my heart's, yours to keep

The birds they will sing
For me there will be a ring
For once my life will be complete
For you, my heart will always beat

But I cannot say the same for you
Before long, you'll say we're through
Those words will pierce, my very heart
Because I cannot bear, to be apart
And with my heart filled with sorrow
I'll make sure there's no tomorrow

Broken Dreams and Shadows

In the land of broken dreams and shadows
I will lock my heart away

In the stone that makes up all the pillars
I will stow the key away

The scars that once stood nice and hidden
Will soon all fade away

The pain that runs seared my heart through
In the stars it'll go away

For love is nothing but a dream that
Lies broken and untouched

Each day is nothing but a battle
Just to make it through the night

In the land of broken deams and shadows
I will lock my heart away

In the stone that makes up all the pillars
My fate will always lay

Til the day he takes the time to
See the pain that I hide away

In the land of broken dreams and shadows
My heart will always stay....

For Mom

Happy Birthday Mom
It's a special day for you
Blow out the candles
Make your dreams come true

Watch the flames as they flicker low
Watch them until it's time to go

It's been a year and time just flies
Especially when this one was filled with goodbyes
It's hard to believe you're no longer here
but in my heart you'll always be dear

So I wish that this birthday for you is the best
and your soul forever lays at rest
Forever I'll love and miss you
And even though my mood is blue
I wrote this poem just for you
and at your gravestone these words shall lay
As a gift from me on your birthday

Tainted Prayer

Forgiveth my Father,
For I Haveth sinned
At thee Devil's own decree

And if thou shalt never forgive thee
I shall take thy blade of thine
and plunge it deep in thee

Blood will tinge thy sword
So forgiveth me, my Lord
For I Haveth sinned
And though you may rest in peace
To exist you shall cease


Daggered Eyes

There is no love
Truer than thine own
There is sorrow
Deeper than thine own
There is no hate
Brighter than thine
There is no heart
Darker than thine own

Daggered eyes pierce thy soul
As thee turns away from me
Broken bones and a broken heart
Are all that remain
Love that once stood true
Turned bitter and cold

I hate to say it, but I dare not lie
Without you I cannot get by
I cannot bear it, it will not do
I am nothing without you

The words you say, the words I hear
Are the words I've learned to fear
Together we'll be and together we'll stay
And at night together we'll lay

Letter to Me

As I was coming home from work today,
I came across a woman who was old and gray
and in her arms what did I see?
A letter addressed From Me To Me
Curious, I asked what the letter said
The woman she sighed and shook her head
At first I doubted she would say a word
but soon she started in a voice I barely heard

"It's to a young woman I once knew.
A woman who was beautiful and whose love was true.
She had a lot to live for but threw it away
and that is something she regrets to this day"

And with a sigh the woman finished her piece
she turned away and looked as if her worries would cease
when that letter she wrote was mailed away

And on my mind this scene will stay
For I could not help but wonder if I'd be the same
Was my life really as great as I would like to claim
or was it something a little less?
If I wrote a letter to me what would I confess?

Would I write the words I was afraid to say?
The words I've been wanting to say since that day?
The day you told me you were leaving for good
and it was in our best interest that you should
Would I break down and say the words that have long stood true?
Would I finally admit that I love you?
Or will I wallow and wait
to accept my fate
Because the truth was too hard to bear?

Denial is a beautiful thing
It keeps one both strong and sane
And no matter what I do
My scars will remain
You know you weren't there
The times when I needed you the most
The times when all I wanted was to hold you close

I know things have changed and so have you
But it's still hard to forgive after all I've been through
I loved you but you let me down
And in my sorrow I felt I would drown
You said you were sorry, you were filled with regret
But no matter what I could never forget
All those times you left me standing by
Those times I wished I could just die
If you didn't want me then what could I do?
I was nothing without you
You were my life, my future
but soon that changed too

But, if I wrote a letter to myself, what would I write?
That I had a future so happy and bright?
That I threw it away and now it's too late
or that I changed things around and set them straight?

I guess only time will tell, but one thing I do know
Is that no matter how far in life I will go
I will remember that woman, old and gray
And remember the words she said that day
The very words that I needed to hear
To bring you back home where I'll hold you dear

Forever and ever in my arms once again
And together, a letter to me we'll send


Fire burning, leaving ash
Admidst the flames swords will clash
Men are screaming, crying out
Listen closely and hear them shout

Their blood runs red as they fall down
Crying, dying, bleeding out

Friend and foe fall alike
Hear them as they cry

In the end no one wins
It's a losing game for all

Metal against metal
Skin against skin
Together they fight until they 'win'

Listen closely, hear their call
All for one and one for all

With heads held high they face their foe
wondering just how far they'll go
And throughout the night
Men will fight
With victory far from sight

In the ground their blood will seep
Beaten, broken, ripped apart
The game was lost from the start

Fire burning, leaving ash
Admidst the flames swords will clash
Men are screaming, crying out
Listen closely and hear them shout



Mirrors lie
They bring out the worst in you
For no reason at all
They show your flaws
but never your beauty

They make you feel fat
They make you look ugly
They tear at your confidence
They break down your self-esteem
They take you apart

No one escapes them
Not even the best of us
That perfect girl three doors down?
She spends hours in front of the mirror
Taking in it's lies
Feeding on it's beliefs
Giving in and giving up
She loses herself in the mirror
Just like everyone else

Like puppets on a string
We all give in
We all fall victim
We suffer and agonize
Wanting to turn away
Hating to give in
but the allure is too great
the lies are too strong

They sound over and over 
Filling your ears
Shaping your mind

They turn you against yourself
Ugly, fat, scrawny, tiny
The words that haunt you
Lanky, quirky, awkward, stout
The lies you're told

The lies you're led to believe

Mirrors - they lie
They show you your flaws
but never your beauty
they break you down
they suck you in and close around you

You can't escape
And though you pretend otherwise
Deep down you know the truth
Deep down you know why

Breaking free makes pulling away
And trusting in yourself
And if you fall short
There's no one to blame but you

It's better to blame the mirrors
Mirrors and their seductive lies
Mirrors and their hollow promises
Their false hopes and tainted beliefs

Being different is not an option
It never was
Try as we might
We're all the same inside
We're puppets on a string
Giving into hollow promises
Believing the lies that are easy to see through
Ugly, fat, weak
Not one of those lies are true
And yet we believe them
We believe in the mirrors and when things go wrong
We blame them too

Because we all know 
It's better to blame the mirrors
Than your own weakness

Because mirrors
They lie